What Makes a Good Mom?

What makes a good mom?

We live in a world of comparison and competition, especially when it comes to motherhood. It's so easy to look at social media and blog posts and feel like you just don't measure up, like you're just not a good enough mom.

When you see a mom making super healthy and delicious meals, not to mention serving them on beautiful dinnerware - and you served your child pizza on paper plates.

When you see a mom with a super clean and organized home - and your living room is full of toys and shoes and books.

When you see a home with all of the trendy new furniture and decor - and you're sitting on the same couches you've had for ten years with the same decor you got at the Goodwill store.

When you see a kid's room with really cute bedding and the toys are all put away in a nice shelving unit - and your kid's bed isn't even made for the day and their toys are scattered all over the room.

When you see a homeschool mom with the fanciest manipulatives and brand-new curriculum and really fun lessons - and you're using pinto beans to count with a worn-out math book.

And there are so many opinions!

Breastfeed vs bottle feed

Co-sleep vs crib sleep

Rock to sleep vs cry it out

Wooden toys vs plastic toys

Homeschool vs public school

Screens vs no screens

I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the idea.

Is that what makes a good mom? Super healthy food? Matching plates and utensils? Organization? Up-to-date furnishing? Cute bedding? Expensive homeschool curriculum? Sometimes it feels like that's what everyone is telling us, that we have to have more, do more, BE more. 

It's easy to get discouraged and feel like you're just not a good mom and you're not living up to everyone's standards.

I decided to ask some of my kids, "What makes a good mom?" Here are the answers I got:

"one that you can joke around with and loves you no matter what, raises you up in a Christian home, encourages you, not afraid to yell at you, and never doubts you"

"one who shows up, cares, and does her best for her kids"

“giving it your max effort”

"one that you can talk to, always has a meal prepared, and reads the Bible"

When I read the answers the kids gave me, I can see that their expectations are way different from our own. The bar they set is feeling safe, feeling loved, and being taken care of.

Wow.

I've been beating myself up because I feel like I could be making Zeke's kindergarten lessons even more fun. I've been trying to figure out how to keep the house cleaner with a very nosy 15-month-old. I've been feeling guilty because I haven't introduced my kids to a larger variety of fruits and vegetables. I've been dreaming of a more organized kitchen with more up-to-date cabinets and countertops. I've felt like a failure for putting three kids in public school this year instead of homeschooling through high school. I worry that I don't have enough open-ended toys and too many plastic toys. I’ve stressed because the kid’s rooms are usually disorganized and a bit messy.

Why don't we stop comparing ourselves to other moms and instead just focus on being the best mom we can to our kids?

I'm being a good mom when one of my kids wants to talk at night, after I'm in bed, and I listen and give them time.

I'm being a good mom when I have a meal cooked for them, no matter how simple it is.

I'm being a good mom when I laugh with my kids and share jokes with them.

I’m being a good mom when I sit on the floor and read books or play blocks with them.

I’m being a good mom when I let them splash in the tub or build a fort in the living room.

I’m being a good mom when I celebrate a good grade.

I’m being a good mom when I cheer at baseball or basketball games and rodeos.

I'm being a good mom when I wake up in the morning with the intention to do my best as their mom.

And you know what? You're a good mom, too.

Linking up with: