Middle School Mondays is a new name for what used to be Jr. High Junction. I hosted this link-up years ago, but I want to get it going again. It's hard to find encouragement, ideas, and tips for homeschooling this age group. I define "middle school" as 6th-8th grades, but you may define it as something different. If you have any posts you would like to add to this link-up on Mondays, I would be so grateful! It would be wonderful to have one place with lots of great posts for homeschooling middle school.
Today I'm going to address the question - "How much help should I give my middle schooler?" We all know that students learn at different paces and in different ways. In fact, that may be one reason we homeschool! It's definitely a benefit of homeschooling. I'm homeschooling my third and fourth middle schoolers right now, so I'm not new to this. Mercie is in 8th grade and Silas is in 6th grade. There is a vast difference in these age gaps - almost 14 and 11.
I feel like middle school is the big transition from elementary to high school. There are a lot of changes happening in this age group - puberty being the most prominent. I have come to realize that elementary students need a lot of hand holding, and high schoolers don't need much at all. Middle school is where your child learns to let go of your hand, little by little. Some will need more of your hand holding than others will, and that's fine!
Silas is a very smart kid. He was a "late" reader, but now reads way above his "grade level." He is a deep thinker and can ask (and answer!) some tough questions. He's a really fun kid to be around. However, math has been a bit of a struggle for him. It's not that he doesn't know how to work the problems and complete the steps - it's mainly that multiple step problems overwhelm him and then he kind of shuts down.
What I do is sit with him for math - for the entire lesson. He reads the lesson aloud to me and we work through the problems together. If he gets a little overwhelmed or frustrated, I simply walk through the steps with him. I ask him what he thinks we should do next, and if he can't voice it then I tell him. He can then do the step on his own. Then I remind him there's another step to do, and he can usually figure it out. I've found this is especially true with fraction problems - when he has to find common denominators, then borrow to subtract or convert to a mixed number, and then reduce. There are a lot of steps to remember!
If I left him to do these problems on his own, he would feel defeated before he even started. He would give up before he figured it out. By "holding his hand" in this area, I am teaching him that it's okay to need help. I'm helping him to develop the skills he needs to solve these problems on his own. And by letting go of his hand just a little bit at a time, I am showing him how to be more independent.
He can do many things on his own - long division, multiplication, and we even started decimals this week! When there is a problem I know he can do on his own, I let him. If we encounter a difficult word problem, we talk it out together. When he is dealing with fraction problems, we walk through it step by step.
I am confident that in a few years or less, he will be able to master these problems on his own with no help from me. I am also confident that the help I give him is only helping him to build math skills.
We have been doing the same thing with his grammar book until recently. We would read the lesson together and walk through each sentence together. I've noticed lately that he doesn't need as much help, and in fact, he has completed the last two lessons almost totally on his own, even checking his work with the answer key. The only thing he needed help with was finding the subject and predicate in inverted sentences.
We do science, history, and other subject together with his 4th grade brother. This is more family-style learning where I read, we discuss, we do projects, and we do notebooking. He is great at making his notebook pages and does most of this on his own.
In contrast, my 8th grade daughter does almost everything independently. She rarely asks for help, and when she does, it doesn't take much to get her on track. This just reinforces the fact that everyone learns at a different rate.
Different doesn't mean wrong or bad; it just means different!
How much help do you give your middle schooler?
I've found that middle school is definitely the transition period. My older two (one graduating this year and one in 10th) were fully independent by the time their 7th grade year ended. My current 7th grader needs tons of guidance and redirection/refocus help. Part of that is her personality - she is SOCIAL and doesn't like quiet. Part of it is her learning style - totally hands on. Part of it is curriculum - we are doing most things completely different with this child. I love that homeschooling allows us that freedom to fit things to each child individually.
ReplyDeleteYes! Homeschooling does give us the freedom to teach the way our children learn. One of the many benefits of homeschooling.
DeleteI found that each child definitely has different needs but I too used middle school as a time to start stepping back and letting them work independently. For each person that meant different help in different subjects but my one rule was they had to try before asking for help and they could not ask me to correct each and every answer as they went along.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great policy! I do make mine try, and when they get stuck, I help walk them through it. I don't do it for them, but I help them to do it on their own.
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